All By Myself

Text messages, emails, letters and even phone conversations can be misleading.  Communication is mostly body language...therefore when I complain, rant, share my embarrassment, tell honest tales and otherwise vent my frustrations on this blog it might lead you to believe I am a negative/unhappy person.  But I am proud to announce that I am actually the opposite.


Remember the Critter books from the 80's?  I had them and read them over and over.  They were educational and moral stories of a young creature (I still don't know what kind of animal he is) and the new experiences every child goes through.  They are republishing these books as $4 paperbacks and sell them at Wal Mart, so I have stocked up on these nostalgic books and read them to my daughters.


One of my daughters favorites is when the creature learns to do things by himself.  He can tie his shoes, pour a glass of milk and a variety of other "big boy" tasks.  It is that feeling of independence, accomplishment, and self sufficiency that gives him an unending amount of confidence.  He is now a "big boy"!  What could be more exciting than that?


I really am grateful for the help we get.  I am grateful for the WIC card, the Lone Star card and any other financial help we are getting.  I still justify is by saying that I work hard and try to be responsible with what we are given and I know my husband works extremely hard since I get to watch him in a constant battle with the excruciating stress that is law school.  


I think this could all be very depressing.  I could think of myself as worthless, as a bottom feeder, as a parasite...which I frequently joke about cuz that is what I thought of anyone on food stamps.  I think it is important for me to remember that I am not "owed" this financial help.  Just because I am an American does not mean I deserve to have food stamps.  We chose this.  We chose for my husband to quit his job and go to law school.  I'm hopeful this is the best choice we could have made...but only time will tell.  And if you look in from the outside and see the food stamps and WIC in my wallet you might think we've chosen "poorly".


But being in our situation just solidifies my priorities and makes me proud to be learning to be a "big girl".  


There are SO many things I am learning in my young adulthood to do myself and do them well.  To be resourceful in "tight" times.  To create wonderful things and appreciate them.  


Some of my favorite things I create are our budget, and our 2 week menu.  


There  is nothing more beautiful than having a monthly budget that you commit yourself to stick to.  You know where your money is going...whether you have a few dollars or a lot.  You know your bills are paid on time and you can relax.  I don't have a lot to budget for and few dollars to do it with.  


We don't have cable and have not even bought a digital box for our TV so all we watch are DVD's we already owned, or ones we check out at the library.  We do pay for internet and phone, electricity and other utilities.  And even though we have the food stamps card, I still write down how much we are spending on groceries.  Because of this and my two-week menu, I am able to cook "semi-gourmet" healthy meals for our family and have a surplus of over $200 on our food stamps card that is increasing every month.


We don't go out to eat.  We don't go see movies.  We don't do any unplanned shopping.  There are no sporadic trips to the mall.  No casual shopping.  Everything is planned.  Pennies accounted for and yet, we still have lots of fun!  Money really doesn't buy happiness.


It takes a lot of work to put these things together.  But it is worth it.  I used to try to plan one weeks dinners at a time and when I changed to two weeks I suddenly began saving over $100 a month on groceries.  I'm not sure why this is...but it works!  We were even buying more meat than before and still paid less.  Go figure!  


My next plan is to install my own shelves in our closets and use the surplus on the food stamps card to buy us some food storage.  You never know when you might need it.  And if we don't need it in the next few years--I'll have it in case it takes a while for my hubby to get a job- we'll be prepared!  Yea! 


Stuff like this gives me pride.  I am definitely patting myself on the back right now--but I've spent hours combing through cook books, financial planning books, nutrition education, food storage and all other sorts of library items to become "semi-self sufficient"  or at least I'm on the path to being somewhat responsible. 


Right now we aren't paying for our groceries ourselves.  We are not paying for our kids medical insurance ourselves.  But I am making the best of it "All By Myself."  And I am proud of that.