A Date...For Real!

When I met my husband we were both getting ready to enjoy hard working college summers out of state.  I, in Washington DC, and he, in Florida. We were having fun dating and didn't know where it was going to lead...."It all started with a kiss.  How did it end up like this?!"


Our "dating" adventures weren't traditional dating.  I had been wined and dined by other fun boyfriends.  I'd loved going on planned adventures--whether to dinner and a movie, kayaking, dances, boating, four-wheeling, caving, hiking, skiing, and all other sorts of activities.  My husband and I had some of those experiences...but we mostly just hung out with one another or some friends.  We still do.


My husband was so quickly my best friend---being in his presence was excitement enough and I didn't feel any need to go out on fancy dates.  We were casual and comfortable together..it was great!


We still have the same relationship...but with a twist....KIDS!  Once you enter parenthood you have to cling to your spouse.  Its hard.  Over time you change.  Your spouse changes.  Your kids change your entire existence you had together.  I guess this is why everyone always emphasizes the importance of date night...good advice we haven't taken.


I complain to my husband...a lot.  I'd like to think I am not any worse than other wives who share their daily trials, too many details, and definitely too much drama.  But I have a larger fault in complaining when I feel he messes with my efficiency.  


I don't like change.  In my head I already have most of my day planned out and usually most of my week as well.  This includes a time schedule for myself and the kids, a cleaning regiment, exercise, meal prep, appointments, activities, work, and especially our budget and upcoming expenditures.  This is why I get extraordinarily frustrated when he suggests on a Saturday morning that we go out on a date that night.  Doesn't he know I already have a schedule for us in my head?  Can't he read my mind and realize we don't have the money?  


I've always been given that wise advice that we should go on dates and that we don't need to spend money to do it.  I get that.  I understand that a cheap date could be a walk to the park, or a McDonald's ice cream cone...but his would mess with my efficiency.  I have a hard time justifying finding a babysitter to go get ice cream from McDonalds.  


Trust me, I understand that its not about how fancy of a place you go---its just important that you get time with your spouse.  But still...I don't like it.  Maybe I'm spoiled.  I've been to fancy restaurants before.  I grew up having holiday dinners at a country club.  I don't expect that now...I just have this flush of anxiety with the idea of paying for a sitter, paying for an ice cream cone to go and talk about the kids.  


Am I the only one who has this issue?  I'm certrain I'm not the only one who cannot afford to go out...and will not be able to afford it for several years to come.  I am hoping I am not the only one with anxiety over inefficiency.  Maybe I'm crazy.  But I'm working on it.


Crazy or not -- we were blessed with some of the greatest neighbors in the world who allowed my husband and I the perfect setup.  They had tickets to an event they weren't using so they gave them to us...and they offered to watch our kids...for free!  Seriously.  Amazing.


Sometimes you have the greatest imported gourmet chocolate sitting in your kitchen.  You look at it and you just can't get enough.  It smells good, it looks good, it is a comfort, it is decadent and sweet, an adventure in pure culinary pleasure.  You now have two choices.  You can snatch up the chocolate, throw it in your mouth, enjoy one quick bite, and swallow it down nearly whole.  Or, you can take the time to appreciate it for what it is...a gift to you sent from heaven!


My husband is one of those gourmet chocolates.  He's wonderful and fun...but I need to take more time to enjoy him.  On Saturday night I got to enjoy my husband.  I got to savor every moment with him.  Since we were at an event we were able to talk about it and not just our kids.  It looked like a date.  It felt like a date...and I think it really was an date.  


Our date was thanks to the generosity of wonderful neighbors, great people.  We've only had a few "real" dates in our 6 year marriage...and Saturday was one of the best!


Here's to the A family---THANK YOU!

Hope and Belief

I am a lucky gal.  I don't know how I got so lucky...but I am.  I am lucky because I have a few things that some people don't have and may never have.  They are things that I will cherish forever-- because I didn't always have them.  I have hope.  And I have beliefs.  Both of which are free... so feel free to partake!


I have hope in my children.  That though it may appear that the world disintegrating into chaos, they have the opportunity to be a beacon of hope for me, and for others.  I believe that even though my daughter can be feisty -- it may make her into a leader some day.  


I believe that having my two daughters sleep through the night is a miracle, and I hope for miracles every night.  


I believe that though the women's lib movement was well intended, it was misguided, and I am much more important being the CEO of my household than being the CEO in the workplace.  I believe that being a good mom, and raising good children changes the world.  I hope I am a good mom.


I believe that books, and the ability to read them, are the greatest gifts in the world.  I hope I never take the library for granted.  


I believe that behind every good man stands a great woman.  I know my husband is a great man, and I am hopeful that I may be, and will become a great woman.


I believe that good nutrition and exercise can save money and heartache.  I also believe that on the worst of days nothing is better than a good cry and a pint of ice cream.  I hope the ice cream isn't ever needed so much I become obese.


I believe that being a poor law school family on food stamps is easier than being a police family.  I am hopeful that someday police officers will be treated better--the way they deserve.  I believe that many officers we left behind don't believe in themselves enough to get out...but I believe they are amazing and am hopeful they will someday realize their amazing-ness.


I believe that though our situation is currently difficult, we have the opportunity of hope...of creating a better future for our family.  


Everyone keeps telling me its ok to get food stamps because we will be paying it all back in taxes when my husband get a job.  I know that's true...but even if it weren't--part of me thinks if I contribute to society enough, my efforts might be worth that much anyway.
So take a little hope.  Find a few of your own beliefs... and deduct it from my tab I owe to the taxpayers.